mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
