this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
