I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
