If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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