If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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