Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
