I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We left the knife in your bed.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
