: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
