Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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