sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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