i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
