You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
