is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
