how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
