I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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