He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
