I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
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