That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
