i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
