I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
