Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
