Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
