We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
