you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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