By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
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