Buhtt sex?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
