Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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