Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
