Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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