sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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