Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
