I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
