i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
At least life still wants to fuck me.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
