Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
