zippers are such a cool invention
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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