just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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