There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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