i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
