just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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