You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
We named our party play list daddy issues
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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