I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
