I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
