Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
