You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
