Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
