I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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