it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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