is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He did a backflip because drugs
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