just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We talked him into tasing himself.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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