I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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